Dear god,
Instead of just gazing down on me from upthere. I think it’s time for you to sprinkle some magic and descent down a heavenly being who can fathoms and understands me.
Nothingness.
It’s bitter that no one understands.
Not even my family, my friends, my boyfriend. Nobody. Zero. A nada. I’m a dead beat. A bum. A good-for-nothing, a loser, a might-have-been, a washout, a born loser. I don’t even have a fucking piece of ego to even cock up for myself.
It’s like I’m completely by myself in this life, and there’s nothing more diddly dreadful than being alone but you’re not actually not alone. Hm
One of the bodoh-bodoh days.
Just another chronic routine, nothing gala happened today, but I just feel like posting this;
A nucleus of joy,
Sometimes, I feel like I am twine up by someone or something unfamiliar, like I’m six feet under a constricted membrane of well-built grief. Something inside of me shatters, like a laugh of a happy soul of somekind wanting it’s escape.
Sorrow dwells within,
My thoughts of premonation go brutally savage it offenses a blitzkrieg in my head rebelliously.
There are a dive of a fathomless of ‘things I choose to do while breathing life’, but ussualy it will only be in a form of thoughts that’s mummified in my head. Sounds like my head is a necropolis of thoughts.
The Vow.
I watched ‘The Vow’ with Dinesh today. Earnestly took an oath, to go watch this movie when it’s premiered on the cinema. It was spanking.
But it’s time for me to just kick the bucket because feeling ‘brand new’ never last. Boy, if only it does.
In a perfect world, the perfect place is with you :)
He gave me this clement gracious smile. There was something ‘gala’ about it that made me felt unbalanced. It made me feel reserved for a moment, and that’s just what I need, it’s been a dream eversince anybody looked at me in the eyes, like that and it sort of trick my heart a little. It was certainly a budge. It was beautiful.
Two showdowns that kills me;
1. Start college this year and giving up the ghost of my teenage dreams. I will most probably get upset by doing this, I would also might ruin chances on lots of things :’(
2. Start college, next year, my dad’s probably going to uproot his smile like a negative quadratic graph for the rest of the year and giving me that papaya-fruit look that scares the living shit out of me, but on the bright side, I’ll be getting a great quantity of time for myself to fill the bill of my teenage dreams.
*Tough decision.
